Friday, July 28, 2017
Something different for today’s Funny Friday: a lot of quick jokes and a lot of puns for Corn Corner. Indeed, some might say that the entire post today is one large Corn Corner and they would probably be right. So sit back and enjoy.
Sherman, switch on the groan meter . . .
Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.
At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.
Of course I should clean my windows. But privacy is important too.
Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back – way too expensive and really bad quality.
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbours can see there's no domestic violence going on.
Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife, "Frankie’s been crying the whole way home. Is he sick or something?"
"No," replies the wife, "he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our Frankie."
Do you know how they make holy water? They boil the hell out of it!
How can they call it "Alcoholics Anonymous" when the first thing you do is you stand up and say,
‘My name is John and I am an alcoholic’?
Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try farting in public just one time!
A woman is at the doctor's after her husband’s check-up.
The doctor looks serious and says, “Mrs Connelly, your husband is very sick. He needs to rest and not get upset. I will prescribe some sleeping pills.”
“Ok,” nods Mrs Connelly, “and how often should he take those?”
“They’re not for him, Mrs Connelly, they’re for you.”
A boy is sitting on a bus and eating one piece of chocolate after the other. A man sits down next to him and says: “Eating so much chocolate is not healthy for you boy.”
The boy replies: “My grandfather died when he was 112 years old.”
The man asks: “You think he became so old because he was eating lots of chocolate?”
The boy answers: “He became so old because he minded his own business.”
I found my wife hanging from a rope in the attic.
There was a note saying, "I really can't stand your criticsm any longer!"
I quickly cut the rope and reanimated her. Thankfully I could bring her back to life.
As she lay in my arms I could see her eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."
Corn Corner . . .
A Spanish magician has a grand magical show and at the end he says he will disappear after counting to three. He starts to count, “Un, dos…”
Kazaam! He vanished without a tres.
A guy was admitted to hospital with 8 plastic horses in his stomach.
His condition is now stable.
A guy goes to a doctor because he’s got a strawberry growing out of his chest. The doctor looks and examines and finally says, “Let me give you some cream to put on it.”
Jokes about PMS are NOT funny. Period.
You’re becoming a vegetarian? I think that’s a big missed steak.
What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help?
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
A gallery of puns . . .
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Photo and commentary from the above site, with additional pics and comments from moi.
Ancient Sydney cockatoo’s life spans three centuries
Cocky Bennett the sulphur-crested cockatoo died in Sydney in 1916 aged 120 — possibly making him Australia's longest lived parrot (although his precise age varies from source to source). The legendary raucous bird spent the first 78 years of his life sailing the South Sea Islands with his owner Captain George Ellis (who acquired the bird when he was a boy). After Ellis died in the late 1880s aged 87, Cocky wound up at the Sea Breeze Hotel at Tom Ugly's Point, where he became a star attraction — despite having lost all his feathers by the turn of the century. (His freakish beak was caused by psittacine beak and feather disease.) Cheeky locals were known to ply the "Cock of the Bar" with "strong brew", making him launch into his noisy catchphrases. They included "One at a time, gentlemen, please" and "If I had another bloody feather I'd fly!"
If you have ever wondered how Tom Ugly’s Point got its name (I have), Wikipedi a identifies some possibilities:
There are several theories about the origin of the name of the point.
One is that it was named after a local resident Tom Huxley and the name was a mispronunciation by local Aborigines. Descendants of Thomas Huxley have concluded that he lived and owned land in the area but official records do not exist to verify this.
Another theory is that it was derived from the name of a local Aboriginal man, Tow-weiry, who lived in the area and died about 1846.
Another theory is that there was a local fisherman resident in the area by the name of Tom Illigley.
Yet another is that there was a one-legged man, possibly an army deserter or a boat operator, called either "Tom Woggleg" or "Wogul Leg Tom", either because of a mispronunciation of wooden leg, or from the local Aboriginal dialect word for "one".
Anzacs visit the sphinx during WW1
Raised within weeks of World War I's onset, and comprised of Western Australian recruits, the 11th Australian Infantry Battalion departed our shores after only one fortnight's preliminary training. The soldiers continued their preparations for war upon their arrival in Egypt in early December. This photograph documents their excursion to the Sphinx on January 10, 1915. The 11th then joined the 9th, 10th and 12th Battalions in the 3rd Brigade, the covering force for the Anzac landing on April 25, 1915. Among the first ashore at Gallipoli, the battalion served at the Anzac beachhead until the withdrawal in December, after which survivors returned to Egypt.
Another pic of Anzacs at the Sphinx in Egypt.
Members of the Australian Army Nursing Service, pictured on camels in front of the Sphinx and pyramids.
There is a sphinx in Oz as well. It is located in Kuringai Chase National Park at North Turramurra and was carved out of sandstone in the 1920s by William Shirley, a returned soldier, in memory of fallen comrades. It is a 1.5m high replica of the Egyptian Sphinx
Ladies roller hockey team pioneers women in sports
In the early 20th century, women struggled for the right to compete in sports. However, field hockey was considered an acceptable sport for ladies, played in private schools, universities and some towns. Its offshoot roller hockey — initially known as "roller polo" — was also permissible. When the "interesting game" was introduced from America it "caused much excitement and merriment". A women's team from Albany, the city at the southern tip of Western Australia, is pictured here. Roller hockey (aka rink hockey), which is distinct from hockey played on inline skates, is still popular around the world, particularly in Europe and South America.
Hollywood icon Katharine Hepburn tours Australia
For six months in 1955, renowned American actress Katharine Hepburn toured Australia with local actor Robert Helpmann and the Old Vic Company. She appeared in three Shakespeare plays, as Portia in The Merchant of Venice, Katherine in The Taming of the Shrew, and Isabella in Measure for Measure. Before the commencement of the tour, Hepburn was photographed at the Australia Hotel in Sydney. Situated on the corner of Castlereagh Street and Martin Place, the hotel was once considered "the place to stay and be seen by the upper echelons of society", only to be demolished in 1972 to make way for the MLC Centre.
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
The above item is known as The Holstee Manifesto. It was wriiten by 2 brothers – story below from their website – and the poster has bevcome their company’s biggest seller.
In the summer of 2009, brothers Dave and Mike Radparvar decided to quit their jobs in the heat of the recession to go all-in on their passion project — Holstee, a functional and sustainable t-shirt company they had started with their friend Fabian Pfortmüller. Without a business plan or experience in fashion, they reasoned that in the worst-case scenario, it would be the most memorable summer of their lives.
More than anything, Dave, Mike, and Fabian were looking to build a company that would allow them to live their dream. They wanted to create a company that aligned with their personal values and allowed them to have a positive impact on the world around them.
So one of the first things they did was take time to write down why they were starting Holstee. They sat on the steps of Union Square in New York City and, together, they defined what success would look like if they took the financials out of it.
Dave, Mike, and Fabian put that message up as the “About” page on their new website and called it the “Holstee Manifesto.” They couldn’t have imagined how much these words would resonate! Since then, the Holstee Manifesto has been shared millions of times, translated into over 14 languages, and called the next “Just Do It” by The Washington Post -- not something they could have predicted when their top t-shirt customer was their mom :-).
Since writing the Manifesto, the biggest question Holstee has received is what it means to actually live those words. They’ve spent the last eight years trying to answer this question, jumping headfirst into the literature of a life well lived, from classic philosophers like Aristotle, Seneca and Nietzsche to modern thinkers like Martin Seligman, Carol Dweck, Tal Ben-Shahar, and Brené Brown (just to name a few!). They decided to create the Holstee Membership as a way to share what they’ve learned and help others explore what’s most important to them.
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
The Verizon Building is located in New York and was completed in 1927. The architect, Frank walker, was inspired by Mayan architecture in designing the façade. Architects and historians consider the Verizon Building as the first Art Deco skyscraper but the jury remains out on whether it is a thing of beauty or just plain ugly.
Located adjacent to the World Trade Centre site and 7 World Trade Centre, it experienced major damage in the 9/11 attacks but its thick masonry exterior and use of masonry to protect steel columns and structural elements helped the building withstand the attacks. Restoration of the building after the attacks took three years, at a cost of $1.4 billion.
432 Park Avenue:
Whilst looking at ugly in New York, here is another: 432 Park Avenue, a residential skyscraper in Manhattan, New York City that overlooks Central Park. At 425.5m/1,396 feet, its construction was completed in 2015, making it the third tallest building in the US and the world’s tallest residential building.
It has been criticised for its appearance and for failing to blend in with surroundings, some having compared it to a giant matchstick. It has also been negatively described as a symbol of ostentatious wealth and inequality.
Boston City Hall:
The seat of city government of Boston, Massachusetts also happens to be one of the ugliest buildings in the US, if not the world. Built in 1968, it features the style known as “brutalist”.
Despite common public opinion that the building is a giant paper bag job, a 1976 poll of architects, historians and critics conducted by the American Institute of Architects, listed the building with Thomas Jefferson's University of Virginia campus and Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater as one of the ten proudest achievements of American architecture in the nation's first two hundred years.
Denver Public Library:
It has been described as looking like a medieval castle haphazardly put together, but apparently internally it is a marvellous blend of form and design. The exterior was designed by architect Michael Graves in the postmodern style of architecture that he co-founded. That style rejects modern skyscrapers and opts instead for the classical forms, natural materials and colours of centuries past.
As if the building isn’t enough, there is also a giant chair with a sculpted horse upon it. The scale of this work is meant to recall that time in life when even everyday objects seemed monumental.
The Geisel Library is the main library building of the University of California, San Diego Library and, although it features on some lists of ugly buildings, I like it. It is constructed in Brutalist style and is named after Audrey and Theodor Seuss Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss. The building's distinctive architecture has resulted in its being featured in the UC San Diego logo.